So firstly I had uninstalled the gpu drivers in safe mode to install new drivers. Big mistake apparently. All my usb ports no longer worked in windows; only in safe mode; i.e. no mouse and keyboard. I tried reinstalling the usb drivers from the asus website for the motherboard; no luck. Tried system restore, no luck. So did a clean install of Windows to fix the issue.
Phase II of the continuing AMD driver shoddiness occurred when I turned off crossfire in the radeon settings. That made it disappear completely from the radeon settings; i.e. no turning it back on. So I reinstalled the AMD driver and got it back.
Phase III; I shut down the computer and removed the DVI cable to use with another computer. I then reconnected the DVI cable to the system with AMD cards; and it booted in low resolution saying that radeon was not installed or not working. I used a registry edit fix for this known AMD clusterf*ck https://www.reddit.com/r/Amd/comments/8p48ah/psa_fix_for_radeon_settings_version_and_driver/ and radeon settings were working again; except now it showed both my Fury cards, but crossfire was AGAIN missing.
And people wonder why Nvidia is winning. Stupid sh*t like this doesn't happen with Nvidia; you might get a bad driver once in a while in terms of anomalies, but never to this magnitude of fail. AMD should stop the stupid and actually put out proper drivers. I sure as hell am not letting AMD cards near my main PC.