We went to Jamaica a couple of weeks ago for a family vacation. It was our first time. I’ll tell you; it was good and, sadly, bad…
The good:
- We always manage to have a good time. My wife and kiddo are a great company. We joked, laughed, ran, played (a lot), snorkeled, and swam with dolphins (on my son’s birthday).
- The hotel room was spacious, and clean, with an ocean view.
- “Gigio” (my boy’s nickname) played in the water park every day; he managed to make a new friend each time we went there, and spent hours playing in the pool.
- The dolphin experience was awesome – I know it was a great birthday present for Gigio. When I lived in California I had seen a few surfing the waves but never seen one closely or even touch one. They are kind, curious, and friendly…and big!
- I met a few folks, mainly parents of the kiddos Gigio played with, who were either from Canada or the US, very few Europeans.
- Driving around Montego Bay was an eye-opener. It is beautiful, tropical, and wild (lots of animals run around freely). But at the same time, it is a growing city, with lots of development happening everywhere. Numerous roads were either under construction or just inaccessible. That said, you can sense the “chill” vibe everywhere.
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 We were happy...until we got our food!
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The bad:
- The Grand Palladium Montego Bay. Friends, avoid this all-inclusive wanna-be-4-star resort at all costs!
- Concierge: Bad, no greeting. No smiles. Slow, careless, untrained, and forgetful.
- Customer Service: I gave it one star. No one smiled. You’ll think the management would know/understand about its clientele’s needs, wants, and expectations, especially for a 4-star resort. Not!
- Boarding: The first room they put us in was next to another room where major construction was taking place. From sledgehammers to construction workers yelling at each other, the noise level was unacceptable, I could not believe it.
- Food: I’m not a picky eater, as long as it’s tasty and prepared well, I’m in. But man; the food was bad. Not seasoned, overcooked or undercooked, served cold or too hot. The waiters were so slow, it took about 30 minutes on average to get served breakfast, lunch, and dinner. And no smiles, no greetings…nothing. One morning, a waitress grabbed a spoon from my wife’s hand because it belonged to another station. Getting coffee in the morning was a disaster. And OJ? Wow, there were queues of guests (including me) every morning waiting for OJ. One morning I asked for more OJ; the waiter went into the kitchen to get some…but…he forgot. He returned after 30 minutes and casually stated that he had forgotten, meanwhile a dozen guests had formed a line, waiting for OJ. This behavior, I guess, was normal at the Grand Palladium.
Another example; we went to one of the a-la-carte restaurants to eat sushi. It turned out the food came directly from the morning’s buffet kitchen. The food was so bad and smelled like chemicals.
Another day we went to the “Poseidon”. A beachfront restaurant. I ordered Jerk Chicken. As I cut a piece of the mean…it started bleeding! Meaning it was not cooked. I’m sure you can imagine the anger raging out of me. Some food had sand in it! Not salt, not pepper…sand!
With the above in mind, everyone expected a tip! Really?
When I got home, and after publishing my negative reviews across a few websites, I got an email from the management team. It was an apology email, which included a special offer for our next stay at the Grand Palladium Montego Bay. Unbelievable!
In closing, my friends, go visit Jamaica! It’s beautiful, the locals are friendly, the “real” local food is tasty, and be sure to check out Negril:
